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andydiamond
Hairy Horologist


424 Posts
Posted -  11/08/2004  :  20:57
I posted this story elsewhere in the forum,but thought I would save it here too, if that is o.k.

JEFF AND THE BULLDOZER.
One day when our son was about 12 or 14,(he is 26 now)we called at jeff's on our way out, and getting no reply to the usual frenzied hammering on the door, we made our way round the back, where Jeff is usually to be found, doing clever mechanical things in his hut, which is fitted out as a machine shop.
Outside the hut was a small Bulldozer, god knows where he got it from, but it was (or is, he may still have it for all I know) a wonderful working tool, about one quarter size of the ones you usually see working.
young Andrew (son has same name)saw this and shouted "Oh, WOW, look at this" !! just as Jeff came out of the hut.
"Does it work Jeff, will you start it up for me, please Jeff, huh Jeff, will you Jeff" ?

Meanwhile I'm stood there gobsmacked, because where before all was chaos and desolation and piles of scrap metal, there was now a lovely garden with a lawn, and rose bushes, and a nice wood fence and - - - -I can see somebody has been well busy here,it turned out Jeff had been given the do it or else ultimatum, by Joan, and had put his back into the job to good effect.

Meanwhile young Andrew is being very persistent, as only youngsters can,going on and on and on - -
untill Jeff finally agreed to see if the bulldozer would start, to give us a Demo.
The bulldozer had not run for a long time, but our combined efforts (I wanted to see it go too, of course)got it started up, and a cloud of smoke drifted skywards, blotting out most of the surroundings for a while.
"right then, show us what it can do" "Well, I'll have to be quick, cos Joan is due home from work any minute now"

Jeff shoved in the clutch,and tried to put it into gear, many loud grinding noises indicated that the clutch was stuck due to lack of use, however that is not a big problem for engineers and land rover drivers,Jeff just heaved on the gear lever even harder, and the bulldozer lurched forward several feet with Jeff making the blade on the front go up and down.- - -We were well impressed with all this, then even more impressed when, with a cry of "OH, S**T" the bulldozer, by now warmed up a bit and running like a good 'un, tore across the lawn, removing a lot of the grass as it went, then ALL the roses, and with Jeff shouting "I can't stop it, the clutch is still stuck",It made short work of the nice new fence, and ploughed on it's way into the back field, digging a new ditch as it went.

"Did Jeff mean to do that?" said Andrew as the noise and smoke faded into the distance -"A bit of advice here son, if he ever comes back don't say a bloody word, o.k?"

At that moment Jeff made his next big mistake, a loud crunching noise and Jeff shouting " I've got it into reverse !! (Did I mention brakes? this bulldozer did not have any)So now he is coming back towards us, heaving on the steering levers,he almost managed to get back through the hole in the fence (almost)and ploughed up the bits of lawn he had missed the first time, finally coming up against the hut, which would have collapsed but for the house, which gave it some support untill the engine stalled and silence fell.

A silence which lasted for about ten seconds, then was broken by "Hello, I'm home, are you round the back Jeff?"

Andydiamond,with fond memories of a great day out.








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