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BDonald
Regular Member


297 Posts
Posted -  12/01/2006  :  19:35

Know any good clean Jokes





http://www.danggoodjokes.com/




 

 




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Another
Traycle Mine Overseer


6250 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 11:46
Tripps, at the moment the national minimum standards for regulating childrens services runs to 7 volumes each of a minimum of 80 pages - those with the regulations included up to 150 pages.These do not include the separate pieces of regulations and Acts which govern their implementation. Add to that the guidance and legislation that local authorities have to use to deliver their services to children and the 400 pages estimate is way, way too small. Nolic


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Bradders
Senior Member


1880 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 16:18
Viagra is very clever stuff (and this is true)...It only has the desired effect when arrousal would normally happen...That is to say taking the pill does not have an immediate effect.....

Which reminds me of the Thermos flask joke ....

You put something in that is hot , and it stays hot....

You put something in that is cold , and it stays cold.....

How does it know ?.....

Whilest on the subject of Viagra .....Like all medication it comes with a list of side effects and warnings.....one of which is ..(and I quote)

"Prolonged and sometimes painful erections have been reported after taking Viagra. If you have an erection which lasts for more than 4 hours, you should contact your Doctor  immediately"

Which is all very well , except she's about half my age , and I 've only just met her  ! (that's true too).....and  how , might I ask, are you supposed to smuggle the damn thing into the surgery , without getting arrested ,anyway .....?

Stop watches at the ready lads .....!



PS  Why have I got the feeling that there might be repercussions from this post ... ? ..Haha !

Edited by - Bradders on 01/02/2011 4:21:03 PM


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belle
VIP Member


6502 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 17:34
Maybe the title will shed some light on that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Sunray10
Regular Member


557 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 19:18
I've never tried it Bradders, don't think I need to!!! Has anyone any idea what I'm talking about ?


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catgate
Senior Member


1764 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 21:03


quote:
Sunray10 wrote:
I've never tried it Bradders, don't think I need to!!! Has anyone any idea what I'm talking about ?

Vinegar.


Every silver lining has a cloud.


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Bradders
Senior Member


1880 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 21:58
Ray ..Give it another  ten or twelve years , then remember where you heard about this in a Light Hearted way....!

I have NO intention of being Lewd in bringing the subject up .....

(Bodger's joke was a bit near the mark , after all)

Indeed ,I wish to dispell some myths.....and have a smile at the same time ...


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Sunray10
Regular Member


557 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 22:45
Well yes things might be getting a bit limp in 10 years time, so I will consider vinegar...I mean viagra then. But hopefully everything will be just fine. I don't forsee any problems. Thanks for the consultation Bradders. Don't need the doctor now!


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catgate
Senior Member


1764 Posts
Posted - 01/02/2011 : 23:01


quote:
Sunray10 wrote:
Well yes things might be getting a bit limp in 10 years time, so I will consider vinegar...I mean viagra then. But hopefully everything will be just fine. I don't forsee any problems. Thanks for the consultation Bradders. Don't need the doctor now!

You may well need some brown paper to go with the vinegar. Jack found it very effective.


Every silver lining has a cloud.


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Invernahaille
Regular Member


669 Posts
Posted - 02/02/2011 : 01:39
I put viagra under my pillow when I went to sleep, and I woke up with a stiff neck.


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Stanley
Local Historian & Old Fart


36804 Posts
Posted - 02/02/2011 : 06:22
Perhaps the pill we really need is the one that convinces you that you don't need any assistance. I know a joke about it.

Old Sweat to comrade: "Remember that stuff they used to put in the tea to keep us quiet? I think it's started to work."

Re. posts about volume of regulations etc. Comrade, if anything demonetrates the old saying about losing sight of the wood for the trees it's your evidence of the regulatory detail. Guaranteed to fail! As for the one side of A4, I've worked on that rule for years and funnily enough daughter Susan and I had a conversation only yesterday about constructing short messages with direct questions clearly stated and asking for specific answers. Invariably only one is answered. No attention span or discipline. Now who or what do we blame that on? Just remembered that I have quite a lot of correspondence that passed from the various minstries to Bancroft during the war. They are all on notepaper about half the size of a modern A5 sheet and only one sheet per letter. Why not try that as a way of concentrating minds?

As usual we have gone off piste but it's a serious subject and worth addressing.


Stanley Challenger Graham




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TOM PHILLIPS
Steeplejerk


4164 Posts
Posted - 02/02/2011 : 10:03
Just booked a table for me and the wife for valentines day,it'll all end in tears though,she's rubbish at snooker...



"Work,the curse of the drinking class" Go to Top of Page
Bradders
Senior Member


1880 Posts
Posted - 02/02/2011 : 10:19
Stanley.... Brevity often results in accusations of being  rude ....it's a shame !


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Sunray10
Regular Member


557 Posts
Posted - 02/02/2011 : 14:09
Yes Stanley and Bradders we have most definately 'gone off piste' !!! Never mind normality will soon resume, hopefully.


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Stanley
Local Historian & Old Fart


36804 Posts
Posted - 03/02/2011 : 05:06
Ray, we don't do 'normality'.

You're right Brad, it's seen as aggressive. Who cares, it takes less time and in the end produces clear results. We ran a war off it!


Stanley Challenger Graham




Barlick View
stanley at barnoldswick.freeserve.co.uk Go to Top of Page
GAK
Regular Member


133 Posts
Posted - 03/02/2011 : 21:40
Hi  All
Just had a birthday and one of the cards read:-
Senior Birthday Prayer
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the one's I do. . .
and the eyesight to tell the difference!

I thought it was worth putting on here.

GAK


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