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andydiamond
Hairy Horologist


424 Posts
Posted -  20/08/2004  :  19:31

Tales from the Tarmac.

Many years ago my Uncle, the late Albert J. Morris, ran a resurfacing business called Permadrives. Albert, a well known character in the area, had run a photographic studio in Leeds Road Nelson for many years, when stories began to circulate in the local watering holes about the huge amounts of money being generated by spreading the black stuff on the drives and footpaths of the better
quality houses in the relatively wealthy areas of Harrogate, Ilkley, Otley etc.
The team Albert put together consisted of Colne Ron, Hapton Billy, Barrowford Jack and of course A.J himself, with me working with them each summer in the long college break plus an assorted crew of local characters dragged out of the pub for the occasional bigger than usual job.
The events I remember from those days in the early seventies were often funny and occasionally hilarious bordering on surreal. Albert always said he was going to put them in a book, but the years went by and it never happened, so I thought I would share a few of the things that happened with you at the rate of one every now and again so as not to overdo things.

A job that lasted a few weeks around 1970 was re-surfacing all the pavements on the Balladin Estate in Rawtenstall for the Corporation, Which had done the now familiar trick of tearing up all the lovely old sandstone flags and selling them off to the southerners for big money.
It is Monday morning, it is raining that solid wet stuff that you can almost get your teeth into and has been all weekend, so our small pedestrian controlled petrol driven tarmac roller is pretty damp, and most of the crew except Colne Ron have clocked this, and found other jobs to do whilst managing to keep an eye on the roller.
Colne Ron was only working to feed his fifteen pints a night habit, and after a heavy weekend on the beer was never the brightest star in the firmament at 8a.m. on Monday morning (come to think of it he wasn't too crisp at 8a.m any morning) So this particular day we got started, A.J winked at me and Hapton Billy and casually said to Colne Ron "easy job for you today Ron, just start the roller up and roll that bit of pavement there" Colne Ron loved that roller as if it were his own, we always said he would have taken it home and to the pub if he didn't have to walk behind it! He had long since figured out that when he was on the
roller he didn't have to shovel tarmac, lift heavy wheelbarrows or generally get a sweat on, which he thought was a terrible waste of good beer - - - -
So Ron went to the roller, filled it with petrol and checked the oil level, wiped it down with a rag and generally spun the job out while everyone else sweated and toiled and did the heavy work.
After half an hour or so spinning the job out, the moment the rest of us were waiting for arrived.
The roller's engine had one of those strange pulleys that you wrapped a length of rope round then pulled as hard as possible in the hope of the thing starting, so Ron wrappped the rope round, and heave for all he was worth on it. - - -remember the rain? Nothing happened on the first pull, or the second or the third - - - Ron was puffing a bit by now, the roller always started first or second pull
Ron got so agitated he took his pipe out of his mouth – (Ron never took his pipe out except at the chippy at lunchtime) and stuffed it in the pocket of his huge old army greatcoat.
Time to get serious now, despite the rain off came the greatcoat and up went the sleeves and we all watched Ron attack that roller as if his life depended on it starting.
He was so busy he failed to notice the entire crew had stopped to watch the show from the shelter of an empty house ten feet away, comments meant to encourage and uplift floated across such as "now there is a man at the end of his rope" and "if it were a dog you'd have it put down" but Colne Ron had by now worked himself into a frenzy of rage and temper, not helped when A.J. told him Barrowford Jack had opened a book with odds of 50 to 1 against him getting the roller started by dinnertime!
Finally, and to all our great delight, Ron lost the plot completely, threw the rope away, gave the roller a mighty kick forgetting or not even caring it was solid steel, let out a scream of rage and pain, held his foot and hopped about for a minute, then stood with arms wide and face to the sky and shouted "AND THEN THEY SAY THERE IS A GOD!" then threw himself onto the floor landing in the biggest and deepest puddle on the site.
Just to finish the story off, A.J walked across to the roller, ignoring Ron on the floor, wound the rope round the pulley, and the roller engine having stood for a couple of minutes started first pull!

Andydiamond, in memory of the late, great, A.J. Morris






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